4 Years And…..

Another random shit that i wrote in middle of night , no its around 3am when i write this. Is not night anymore its almost morning , early morning.

I cant sleep , there many problem i thinking lately , but mostly because one person. And if i dont share this one with someone my mind will blow up like crazy.

Okay how i should started? 4 or maybe 5 years ago….

Around that time i meet someone , a man of course. He is not my type at first , and most important at first i feel annoying about his attitude. Like 2 or 3 time he made mistake to me , but because im not typical person who like complain so i just asking nicely. Since that time im starting to put my attention to him , because i dont want he make mistake to me again , i feel bit piss off if something like that come back again.

Because a little attention , i feel ah he cute enough , and at that time is maybe take 1 years to me decide like him from the time i meet him. So  started like him when i was 18 years old so maybe around 2011. I like so much until i drag my close friend to accompany me to meet him , because we not in same friend , he just random me , and of course me too for him.

Easy part to get know him its meet him and became his friend friend. So i started with his friend. Asking about him , im kinda typical person who forthright since look his friend already know , so i asking him that if he already have girlfriend or no. I bit confuse here , because some of answer he already have but some said he dont have girl friend , since he never bring his girl friend.

Okay i just decide he dont have girl friend

Somehow i must leave bandung , to study at shanghai , i leave it for 1 almost 2 years , but i still come back when its come to summer and winter holiday , and its cool. I mean i meet him , still have feel but not that much as before. And than i come back leave shanghai for forever. Its cool i live very well i meet new man at least 2 man around that time and we have special relationship

And maybe when i stay in bandung , just couple month i never see him , whenever i come to his place i never see him. Its around end of last year. I know where he , i even visit his new place but i never meet him. I believe destiny so maybe he not my destiny.

I live very well too when i never meet him , not like first year if im not meet him i feel crazy. Im doing cool. At least pretending to be cool. Whenever his friend asking about him , i answer with cool tone , that i with him already finish. Its all about past. OKAY I LIE!

Maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago i meet him , in his old place by accident. I dont even know he there until my friend tell to me that he here. I shock. I wanna asking him something like ‘how are you?’ ‘how doing so far? you look more slim do you eat well?’ Anyway something like that , but i take a back , first because he totally became super cool person and that moment im not in my perfect look so i take a back. And second i already tell to all his friend that im with him already end so why i should do that? Its embarrassing

But im curious since that because i never meet him after he move . So i come to his new place . i bring my friend i begging to her to accompany me again at least one time i wanna go see him again. But i dont meet him , okay its sucks. Destiny look like play with me.

So i stop , i dont want go there again first its far second i just dont want go to much crazy like before. And today i meet him again. I dont know its called destiny or no , at least i already have plan that i will go to his old place with my friend do some work and grab dinner together , and you know what my other friend call me she tell me that she at that place and she saw him at there. Seriously im shock , how can became like that , okay looks like destiny dont play with me.

Okay maybe you curious why i talking about destiny so here the another story first.

Destiny look play around with me. First time that i wanna meet him when i go to his new place like i tell you before , so actually he there. But its BEFORE. So is look drama that he leave and i come. Sucks right? Second time its when i go to his old place i chit chat with his old friend who know my story , and in the end  he said , ah he go here before. So its like 2 time destiny play with me , he leave i come. I come he leave again.

I believe something happen because reason , so what reason behind this? Its just one step late. I hate this condition so much.

Okay come back that finally i meet him. Im happy somehow that the fact i can meet him not only i do some prepare other i know he became better person. And you know what when i meet him i dont speak any word to him. He look at me or maybe he aware that weird girl who eve like him and said in katalk that she like hem and he said no its there. And i look him because i like him.

Yeah i ever to talk him , after i come back from shanghai , i feel its time to me ending this kinda relationship. And i decide i just wanna said without anything mean. So i katalk him and said what i do , he respect and said that he already have girl friend. Since i already know before so im not surprise but im sad that moment.

Plan its me with him already finish. I dont want him anymore , but today when i meet him i lost world and my heart still beating like crazy. I feel like teenager who like senior in her school. Im not young anymore but i realize that i still have feel like that and its work only for him.

Im thinking why i became like this , after 4 years. 1 years i almost meet him everyday in second and third i never meet him because i live at shanghai very well and meet another man , but now when i meet him again my heart still beating and its crazy why i cant forget him for 4 years.

Somehow i hope he my destiny because i ever to imagine how my future husband look like ,and he its close with my ideal. But i dont know , i want end this crazy feel but how?

Its that true that everybody have at least one crush for forever?

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This post 100% made with smile

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