4 Years And…..

Another random shit that i wrote in middle of night , no its around 3am when i write this. Is not night anymore its almost morning , early morning.

I cant sleep , there many problem i thinking lately , but mostly because one person. And if i dont share this one with someone my mind will blow up like crazy.

Okay how i should started? 4 or maybe 5 years ago….

Around that time i meet someone , a man of course. He is not my type at first , and most important at first i feel annoying about his attitude. Like 2 or 3 time he made mistake to me , but because im not typical person who like complain so i just asking nicely. Since that time im starting to put my attention to him , because i dont want he make mistake to me again , i feel bit piss off if something like that come back again.

Because a little attention , i feel ah he cute enough , and at that time is maybe take 1 years to me decide like him from the time i meet him. So  started like him when i was 18 years old so maybe around 2011. I like so much until i drag my close friend to accompany me to meet him , because we not in same friend , he just random me , and of course me too for him.

Easy part to get know him its meet him and became his friend friend. So i started with his friend. Asking about him , im kinda typical person who forthright since look his friend already know , so i asking him that if he already have girlfriend or no. I bit confuse here , because some of answer he already have but some said he dont have girl friend , since he never bring his girl friend.

Okay i just decide he dont have girl friend

Somehow i must leave bandung , to study at shanghai , i leave it for 1 almost 2 years , but i still come back when its come to summer and winter holiday , and its cool. I mean i meet him , still have feel but not that much as before. And than i come back leave shanghai for forever. Its cool i live very well i meet new man at least 2 man around that time and we have special relationship

And maybe when i stay in bandung , just couple month i never see him , whenever i come to his place i never see him. Its around end of last year. I know where he , i even visit his new place but i never meet him. I believe destiny so maybe he not my destiny.

I live very well too when i never meet him , not like first year if im not meet him i feel crazy. Im doing cool. At least pretending to be cool. Whenever his friend asking about him , i answer with cool tone , that i with him already finish. Its all about past. OKAY I LIE!

Maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago i meet him , in his old place by accident. I dont even know he there until my friend tell to me that he here. I shock. I wanna asking him something like ‘how are you?’ ‘how doing so far? you look more slim do you eat well?’ Anyway something like that , but i take a back , first because he totally became super cool person and that moment im not in my perfect look so i take a back. And second i already tell to all his friend that im with him already end so why i should do that? Its embarrassing

But im curious since that because i never meet him after he move . So i come to his new place . i bring my friend i begging to her to accompany me again at least one time i wanna go see him again. But i dont meet him , okay its sucks. Destiny look like play with me.

So i stop , i dont want go there again first its far second i just dont want go to much crazy like before. And today i meet him again. I dont know its called destiny or no , at least i already have plan that i will go to his old place with my friend do some work and grab dinner together , and you know what my other friend call me she tell me that she at that place and she saw him at there. Seriously im shock , how can became like that , okay looks like destiny dont play with me.

Okay maybe you curious why i talking about destiny so here the another story first.

Destiny look play around with me. First time that i wanna meet him when i go to his new place like i tell you before , so actually he there. But its BEFORE. So is look drama that he leave and i come. Sucks right? Second time its when i go to his old place i chit chat with his old friend who know my story , and in the end  he said , ah he go here before. So its like 2 time destiny play with me , he leave i come. I come he leave again.

I believe something happen because reason , so what reason behind this? Its just one step late. I hate this condition so much.

Okay come back that finally i meet him. Im happy somehow that the fact i can meet him not only i do some prepare other i know he became better person. And you know what when i meet him i dont speak any word to him. He look at me or maybe he aware that weird girl who eve like him and said in katalk that she like hem and he said no its there. And i look him because i like him.

Yeah i ever to talk him , after i come back from shanghai , i feel its time to me ending this kinda relationship. And i decide i just wanna said without anything mean. So i katalk him and said what i do , he respect and said that he already have girl friend. Since i already know before so im not surprise but im sad that moment.

Plan its me with him already finish. I dont want him anymore , but today when i meet him i lost world and my heart still beating like crazy. I feel like teenager who like senior in her school. Im not young anymore but i realize that i still have feel like that and its work only for him.

Im thinking why i became like this , after 4 years. 1 years i almost meet him everyday in second and third i never meet him because i live at shanghai very well and meet another man , but now when i meet him again my heart still beating and its crazy why i cant forget him for 4 years.

Somehow i hope he my destiny because i ever to imagine how my future husband look like ,and he its close with my ideal. But i dont know , i want end this crazy feel but how?

Its that true that everybody have at least one crush for forever?

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Neither Fight or Give Up

There are a tons of great person in this world. Great as a person and most of all they rich. And in other hand o tons of people wanna became like them ,s o that tons of great person give a tips. Mostly tips from great person to “to be great person” is broke you limit so you can success and be great person

Broke the limit.

Well in my life i try to improve my self , with a tons of aspect. I try to be grow up as better person not just about hear but ts about my visual too. Its became my concert i want became more good. In my case i dont want became more pretty i prefer to more became cool person. Person who made other person interest with me

So i change….

But this time , in this point i give up , not give up actually. I rest because i dont know what should i do now to made me grow up to be a better side of me.

So here we go , you just broke the limit!

Okay dear , its easy to said but its hard. I try to find out what should i manage , what aspect i wanna get more better , but i dont know….

I just dont knwow hat should i do next , live for 22 years and grow up to be better person its not easy. Im not give up here i just dont know and even i dont know i dont wanna thinking anymore. For now at least

We called its life sometimes we fight , sometimes we give up but sometimes we neither do fight or give up. We tired to fight but dont want to give up we just need chill a bit relax and….

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17 January 2015 became hectic day in my life. My older sister get married.
I still cant believe that she already married even until now

I remember like 3 years before (which i feel like yesterday) , i always tease her why she never get in relationship. I always tease if she dont introduce her bf to me i will register her to short of dating agency. But yeah… now she have boyfriend i mean husband and she happy.

Feel happy either to my older sister. I always happy whenever she feel happy.

Feel so “cetar” because fake eyelash. I love how super power fake eyelash is


In her special day which made me hectic because im became bride maid… But never mind i became her maid , because i feel a bit sad after thinking back i never treat her better. I always became such bitch little sister tease her a lot , not mean i became not polite or look her down. Is just because i have so much have fun when tease her

And she , like always let me to tease her a lot. I know she let me do that , because she actually can angry when i tease her but when i remember again she never angry , whenever i said whenever i bring any tease to her she always smile as feed back.

Yeah i bless have such a older sister so nice like that. And i hope her husband treat her nice





Because its too busy. Many thing to do , what i have is only picture in back stage. Family and my older sister which complete her make up.

Rest of picture all at event organizer , i want their picture to share with you guys , but seems i need be passion because they will not give directly i must waiting , and because i hate i just post like this simple but for me still have a lot of story

Even not manage take a picture with my sis but manage to take a picture with her husband… HAHA i been super enjoying talking with selfie with someone who already became my family , but im not that close with him. Is weird but yeaaaa


And for my sis who maybe stalk my blog but never tell to me… Here my some message that i never tell you by person because i to shy in case i will cry. And i bet i will cry if i send this message my self

Hi ci!
I know you been talking to me before you always wanted to made blog , writing about something. Which you already do secretly but its end like nothing . But guess what who always blogging now? Me!!! I think is called relationship right? Never mind…

Anyway congtraz to your wedding , you know why i want to tell you by personal to for just said “congtaz for your wedding” i feel i wanna cry , who will imagine you will be marriage? I always tease you i will marriage first and you will be my bride maid and look now , who became bride maid and who wedding…

Im not said this because im hate you or dont like your wedding. Im feel bless enough that you marriage with someone who you care so much. I know how you love story , is never easy. So be happy. Always remember why you want marriage him when you feel upset about him. Always remember how you love you boyfriend which now became your husband now

Seriously….. I dont know what i talking about , is such a jerk now. Thx for letting me tease you for many time , thx for always became my kind older sister , thx for all thing you done for me , simple or bigger. Now you have your own family. . Dont worry about me , i will find my way soon…

Thx for everything and sorry for everything

Ps : Your wedding present i will send as soon as possible

From : You younger sister who always tease you a lot but love you even more


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Avalokitesvara Temple

You know have family which is buddhism and grow up in christianity school is not easy. Sometimes i got confuse to decide… Even until now….

But i let it became like that , i dont want thinking too much , just think what happen now , enjoy as i can and let GOD decide ending of my story life

Talking about religion , last week ago my mom wanna go to temple at Banten is super popular is what my mom said. But seriously its my first time go to temple outside Bandung and than its my first time my mom visit this temple too. So both of us dont know how we can find this temple , we just using waze to find this temple


Its called Avalokistesvara. Because both of us dont have any idea how look like and where this temple , all because my mom like crazy mention that she want go to popular temple in Banten, In first she even dont know the name , so i ask to my lovely bunny sweety smart MR GOOGLE to find out.

And ta dah we find out , even at first time i even get wrong way because signal phone is getting bad and bad. But somehow we manage find this temple. Super amazing because is really far and how we get it is not kidding the street is typical street you want go to village , for this big temple is kinda hmmm not right.





For sure this temple is really huge . I never go to temple this huge and they have a tons of  God we even dont know the name and what He doing. But in the end what i do is just pray and feel bless with all i get until now.

Because i too busy to pray because they have a lot of place to visit for pray , so i dont manage to take how look like the end. But its super amazing temple. I never know in kinda place have such awesome temple like this.



Honestly after i finish pray actually you can ask about something , if you like pray at temple you will know my mean. I dont know how should i called in english but yeah anyway is kind after you finish all ritual you should do , they will give you chance to ask one question about anything… And you will get answered

I do , because i curious. And the result its super awesome. After that i pretty sure im happy like crazy because i know the answered and what should i do next. So my mom said we should come back to this temple again someday , and i cant wait to do that!


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Circle Addiction

Recently i shop a lot from clothes to stuff. Will upload some new haul video soon! But before that , i will share you my addiction item this time….


Yeaps its glasses. I got this one recetly from New Look and now i almost wearing everyday , i mean it!

You know what i collection glasses a lot. Dont know why , i just like glasses. I have a lot of pair of glasses , and this one its the recently i bought from new look. And im totally love it!

Its quietly not comment , because the shape is circle like boboho glasses if you understand what i said. But who care? Lot people said that face look me  , which chubby dont match with circle glasses its just made your face more look chubby. Of course its right , but because i want , i dont care if my face look more chubby or in rude way fat.

I wear what i love , its my rules of style !





Last not least i tell you my BIG SECRET

Love your self , proud with what you love , so people can started love your self.

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EST 2011

Its been 3 years i living with this blog , time really go fast right… only few days my blog will in 4 years….

Actually i dont remember about my birth day blog , but i pretty sure i been blogging is a quite a bit long time , its more long than i expect will be. Honestly in this chance i wanna share you a bit about history my blog. Why i decide to made blog until now i really wanna keep going.

I remember the first time i really wanna made blog its when im junior high school , that time i decide to made blog because i think its reall cool and i like writing so yeah lets made a blog. But its just for couple month , after that i get boring and forget my blog.

High school. I remember how i enjoy my life school everything its really fun but in same point i have condition i wanna run away from reality and that’s blog come back , is started writing about my life , my problem , in short world you can said i made cyber diary. And yeah its only for couple month too , after that i boring and forget it.

So yeah i really have couple blog before this , and dont ask  about my previous blog , seriously i dont even remember what my previous blog , but for sure i know i write tons of junk! But that time i really have fun doing that.

2011 come , i started thinking to made serious blog , blog i will maintain until forever. Blog that its not about me , about anything like what i like , what i dont like , etc…

My Little World its born 2011. As you know why i said its my little world because its a part of my world , my life. I share what i want , i writing what i see , everything is about what i do and what i see with my side. Started to not care about people its just party i can to be my self without thinking anything. A side of world that i can run away from anything who made me wanna die.

Photo 07-11-14 23.29.17

Before i starting blog , i silent reader for tons of blogger , most of blogger i follow is from Singapore. I will mention name okay , i fans of yutakis , until now i still fans of him. He really handsome , his blog is really interesting and his picture is DAMN GOOD!

Big envy of him , and because of him actually i thinking to not doing bloging anymore even those i promise to my self this blog is not like other previous blog , i will keep maintain until this site down. I started to doubt about my self because i can do like he doing , i dont have pretty face , i dont have ideal figure , and most of all i dont have any kind talent like his talent. Slowly i feel became small and small.

Until one time i found a lot of blog , which dont have any high picture like Yutaki does. Its just typical ordinary picture with ordinary life style but somehow i like it.

Photo 07-11-14 23.30.22

And i decide to do with my way , blogging with my way. Writing like i always do , take a picture like always i do and edit as i can.

Even i know all of thing is not perfect but its okay. I choice to deal with my self with tons of not perfect thing. I deal it. But even i deal with my condition but i take some not , as long i put more effort , to be better of my self , its okay. Its okay to be not perfect as long i grow.

Its what i always to my self when i down , maybe you can do it either. Everybody can do , its not matter to be perfect but its really super important to be grow , to be better.

Right now im happy , even my blog is not popular , but every times i gain some follower , some like , and many many more. So i happy because i now its because of me. Because of me this blog became more live , its already 3 years this blog alive because me , i hope this blog will live with me until FOREVER.

Photo 07-11-14 23.33.56

Photo 07-11-14 23.32.00

“Is not about became perfect , its about grow , grow to be better person as you are”

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Opition Surprise Responsibility

Life is one of ten im getting on , seriously if you share about life with me im will super easy into to. Dont know why its something interesting for me. Life and their thing

When talking about life , life is something you cant imagine , you cant expectations. Full of surprise ,which one or bad. But life is always like that , even its bad or good that two thing is really amazing for me. That two thing which made me like me now… Even i cant deny i hate bad surprise its always full of sadness

Come to surprise and expectations.  I just got my new hair style. I chang the color of my hair which i dont like because the purple already fade away come to grey which is not good one grey so i change it. My first plan i wanna come back to my blonde hair , kinda my ‘normal hair’ for me.

But plan change because i dont have any color again , so just what i have just apply. I imagine it will be orange or at least hot red , but its not like i want

Its became dark red. I dont really like it , actually i want have hair color which like dark red or yeah red wine but i doubt it will be good because its typical dark color and its not me for my opinion. But its what happen , even my mom said is not too dark , for me its really dark.



I know how became like this. I put the wrong color and mixing. I usually not using that mixing but because its only one i have and i dont care anymore , i want as soon as possible change my hair color so just do it.

Even me dont know how it will became and how i will feel in future , but because its i want i just do it without thinking twice.

Its just like simple case about life. Sometimes in your life you know how you end , how bad surprise you will get , but you still do it. For me its not fault , at least its what you decide at least try to take responsibility. Responsibility its the hardest part of life. Not all people can do it.

So just decide what you really want take good or bad surprise and enjoy with everything you life. You only life one , thinking what you made happy , reduce all what you thinking about what people thinking about you. More focus what you thinking about you self. You living for you not for other people


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